A divorce is messy, and it’s definitely not pleasant. It’s especially heartbreaking when there are children involved. No matter how hard we try, divorces have a bad effect on the children. If you’re going through a divorce and want to make sure your child suffers the least, then the below tips and suggestions are just for you…
- Public arguments are never the answer – divorces are often nasty; and understandably so. But regardless, you’ll have to learn to keep it civil; for the sake of your children. Never argue in front of them; and especially never in public. It could scar them mentally.
- Use professionals to help you out – no one leaves a divorce scratch free. To make sure life is easier for you (and that your children don’t inevitably feel the brunt of it), use professionals such as divorce lawyers and counsellors.
- Learn to reassure then at every turn – regardless to how well you handle your divorce, your child will definitely be affected by it. All you can do it is try to keep it at a minimum. Apart from getting good divorce and family lawyers to advice you, you should make sure your children are assured of your love for them. You might even have to be more vocal about your love.
- Be there at every important moment, and try not to cancel too often – one of the toughest part about coming from a “broken” family for children, is that parents are not always around in their important moments. Apart from being there at their every “mile stone”, you also have to make sure you’re there in the ordinary moments. Try not to cancel too often on them. And if you have to cancel, make sure to catch up later.
- Consider friendly days out – depending on nature of your divorce, and how amical you are with your ex, consider giving co-parenting a try. Holiday together, or if that’s too much; go out together once in a while. This will give your children a chance to make memories with both their parents.
- Never make them feel guilty – separating from children, even for a period of a few day, can get hard. Especially after a divorce. But you children have a right to visit their other parent too. Don’t make them feel guilty about spending time with them or visiting them.
- Make room for the outbursts – tantrums, tears and harsh words are a given in a situation like this. You’ll actually have to be more worried if your child is withdrawn and/or refuses to speak to you about it. Open the lines of communication. Let them know it’s ok to tell you how they feel. Learn to listen to the complains and to handle their frustration. It’s healing; and they’re entitled to it.